Corona – a curse or a wake-up call???

In all the Corona frenzy, I often find myself wondering why it is so hard for us to be socially isolated, to stay at home and be with our immediate family members? Why is there such a storm of posts on ‘what to do with your kids during the extended school holidays’? Why are parents having crisis upon crisis for someone to take care of their kids when the school can no longer do so? And then there’s the beautiful testimonies from Italy where people are making music on their balconies to keep up the moral and the canals of Venice becoming cristal clear and dolphins spotted in the ocean for the first time in ages!

I think what struck me in these difficult times, is how our family life has changed SO much over the past few decades and realizing what is left of the traditional family structure and how social behaviour within a family has changed. The very sad conclusion I have come to over the past few days, is that there is very little left of that which I (and many others) grew up with about 30 odd years ago and decades before that.

No wonder more and more couples decide NOT to have children or limit the number of kids to one or two, as family life no longer has priority in our modern day society. Is it therefore strange that we see so many unhappy children, such a dramatic increase in mental health problems among children and shocking statistics on suicides amongst teenagers and even young children?

That what is most important of all, is falling by the way side and making space for that what is deemed important by society, the media and social media. Life has become so focused on making money to make ends meet or often just to keep up with the Joneses… So focused on My needs, MY appearance, MY social presense, MY personal achievements, MY goals and dreams, MY career… that OUR marriage and OUR children are often moved to the back burner or is being handled in the free time that is left after all the other boxes were ticked.

Don’t get me wrong, looking after yourself and your own mental health are crucial and we all need to put food on the table, but boy oh boy, have our priorities gotten all messed up over the years! And maybe, just maybe, Corona is here to give us a bit of a reality check… to force us to do stock taking of where the focus of my life is and what the dividents of those investments will be one day.

Have we not become too focused on ME, MYSELF and I? Have we not gotten so trapped in being entertained, being occupied, being busy all the time? Busy with everything outside of our homes – our work, our friends, sports, entertainment and even noble things like voluntary work or church activities. Have we not neglected the little things which are actually the BIG things… Like caring for nature, being committed to our marriage and being actively involved in our children’s every day life (not only attending their sports games) and spending time with our kids without any technology or other entertainment around? We as parents set the stage for our children’s “performance” one day. You might think the school, the teachers, the after-school lady or the nanny or the grandparents can fulfill that role while you are busy with more IMPORTANT things… But that could not be further from the truth.

YOUR children needs YOU… Not to buy whatever they want and saying yes to all their demands and giving them the best of everything, they need YOU. They need you to know what makes them happy and sad; how their day at school really was; what are their deepest fears and biggest dreams; to play sports with them outside (not on a screen); read them a story and put them to bed, rough-housing before bed time; listening to their stories; no matter how long or boring or absurd their stories might be. To correct them in love when they are wrong and to teach them the consequences of their deeds; to show them how to be a gentleman or a good friend; to work according to a budget or how to resolve conflict; to cook a healthy meal or sew on a button…. In short, they need you to be PART of their lives and not only A PART of their lives. After all, it was YOUR choice to have them in the first place!

To conclude – I am a working mom myself and I believe being a parent in this day and age is more difficult than ever before, BUT I believe even more so, that making a daily commitment about where our priorities lie, is absolutely essential for the sustainability of the world we live in and the future of our kids. So take some time in the chaos created by Corona and do some serious introspection, appreciate the little things in life and be present in your children’s lives while you still have the privilege to to so.